“Happy” Friday
The little girl stood in front of the ice cream counter, her fingers lightly tracing the outline of the colorful labels that corresponded to the brightly colored, yummy looking ice creams displayed inside.
𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒔𝒆?
There were so many and she was ravenous. It had been a long day at school and lunch was a distant memory.
“What do you want, honey?” Her mother asked gently.
The girl pointed to the dark chocolate container with swirls and large chunks of chocolate.
Ice cream cone in hand, mother and daughter walked in silence down the busy street, the little girl munching happily on her ice cream.
Contented until the bike store came within view, “That’s the bike I want!” the young girl exclaimed loudly as she grabbed her mother’s hand. “That one!”
And so it goes. On and on.
Life is a never ending race to fulfill the next “want,” and it begins when we are young.
Yet, we can’t help asking, consciously or unconsciously, 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒐 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕?
In every decision that we make, there is the hope somewhere in your mind that the outcome of this decision will move the needle of the happiness compass toward something better.
Advertisers and savvy salesmen, religious leaders and politicians all know and exploit this basic human desire to 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒆 𝒅𝒐 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒘.
“𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒐 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕?”
I have a love/hate relationship with this question.
On the one hand, I had always believed that in the wanting of something, it spurred me on to some sort of inspired action that would involve the attainment of the desired thing.
Maybe that thing was an object, a car, new boots, a house. Yet it was often even more personal, a new job, a new career, a relationship.
I have found, as I have gotten older, that the delight in the having of the new whatever it was, has diminished considerably, drastically shortening the length of time between the initial elation and then the gradual deflation of emotion that invariably came.
On the other older, wiser hand, I have come to understand that it wasn’t necessarily the thing, the person, the event that I wanted, it was the 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈, however brief, that came from the having of it.
𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈?
It was the feeling of happiness and ease.
A great vacation might produce elation and joy and a feeling of freedom from daily restraints.
A new relationship brought in those wonderful feel good hormones and suddenly the world was rosy and sweet again.
When I sold my beloved farm and left almost all of my treasured possessions behind, my suspicions were confirmed.
I did not need any of those things to generate that feeling, in fact, in the letting go of all those things that had made my life comfortably unfulfilled gave me the chance to explore myself!
“𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒐 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕?”
There is not one thing, not one person, not one place, house, car, job, amount of money that will give you the feeling that you seek to acquire by purchasing, pursuing, acquiring, aspiring or finally attaining what it is you want that you think will bring you fulfillment.
That doesn’t mean stop wanting those things, it simply means that your happiness, your ease, your joy in simply being alive is an inside job 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 and you don’t need to labor sixty hours a week to achieve it!
When you are already happy, a new car is the icing on the cake and that relationship with a significant other or a child loses the need to control and manipulate the other into how you expect them to be so you can be happy with them!
Suddenly, a whole new world opens before you, simply because you choose to be happy 𝒃𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆 you went shopping or jumped eagerly into a new relationship.
𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒚 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕?
In theory, it seems quite simple. But clearly, if it were, we would all be smiling all day, every day.
If you, like me, believe that we are meant to be at ease with our world, then the only thing keeping us from that place are the conditions that we have placed on our own lives and those we place on others in our life.
Those conditions are the bars of your own prison keeping you ensnared and eager for relief.
Let them go!
You do not need the sun to shine to have a good day.
You do not need the cashier to hurry or the driver in front of you to speed up!
Understand that it is just 𝒚𝒐𝒖 keeping 𝒚𝒐𝒖 in an unhappy state, not the conditions of the world and the people around you.
Happiness, ease, well being, pleasure…. Those are choices that you make every moment.
The best part? It doesn’t cost a thing:)
Love and light and most of all 𝑯𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔!!!
Create Your Vision Life
Andrea Arena James
Author Happily Ever Over- Breaking Up, Breaking Through, Breaking Free
